She went to the temple today. She folded her hands and prayed. Her eyes were closed for 11 minutes and 48 seconds. She dropped 30 Rs.5 coins in the hundi. Touched the bronze plate with her elegantly painted finger tips.
She smiled at the security. She scratched her left eyebrow once. That stupid fly. It had no clue the landing strip it chose was in fact, actually the eyebrow of Shetty,Shilpa, The. It sat right over her left eyebrow and troubled the poor delicate skin it sat on.
Those long bow shaped eyebrows that stretch across the forehead all the way to the temple twitched for an instant. The temple, you might have guessed, that is on either side of her forehead. Not the one she was in. The ones that throbbed when a racist tongue waggled at her. Not the one in Prabhadevi. Not Siddhivinayak.
But when one throbbed, the other beckoned.
Ah but Shilpa Shettys eyebrows are as exciting as her visit to the temple. I can’t live a moment not knowing whether she went to Siddhivinayak or not. Times of India said today, “Shilpa Shetty with Bigger Brother”. On the cover page. Right at the Top. Right there In your just-out-of-the-bed face. That’s the news I want to see in the morning. It makes my life meaningful. It gives me a feeling of being informed and ‘clued in’. That’s the kind of news we need to create happy, informed, well read, successful, cheerful citizens who contribute to the society and make this a better, bigger nation. You think I am being sarcastic don’t you? Well, bless you. I am. I swear I am.
Because I’m riveted to news like that. It makes my day. My life as a matter of fact. How can I even imagine one breath in day without news like that? Why do I pay Rs.5, (inclusive of complimentary copy of Mumbai Mirror worth Rs.2), if I don’t get to know about Shilpas visits to the temple, masseuse, that NGO that takes care of the down trodden?
Why do you think we have been served with fifty million words on what happened to her over the last few weeks?
I think the newspapers and the media think we are interested. Maybe you are. You are aren’t you?
Well I hope you are. I certainly am not. But I hope you are.
I rather like the idea that I am being stupid and indifferent and cynical and lead a bored lonely life not caring a hoot or two about such hugely significantly consequential world news. I am too old and disconnected. If no man is an island, it proves that I am not a man, for I certainly seem to be an island. I just don’t like that sort of news. It’s BORING. I just can’t be bothered.
But I hope you are, because if you are not, and if you feel the same way about it as I do, then something is very, very wrong with our world today.
To be fair, I have no clue what happened there. None at all. I am aware Jade said something wrong. As far as I am concerned, what was said was said because a mind came up with a thought that made a tongue move. The mind was wrong, the thought was wrong and maybe the tongue was wrong too. I don’t care. It’s that mind that needs to worry and debate and deliberate and correct itself. Not me. I don’t have to spend a moment more on it than it takes for me to hear it. Granted it certainly is not nice to hear it. Certainly is not nice to have people racially slurring along their daily lives. But I won’t be affected if someone has a tongue that slurs racially. Even if it slurred at me.
I can say “6 million years ago, a lunatic distractedly built a small sand hill on the river bed. Because of some plutonic activity the hill grew and grew and now has become the Himalayas. The hill sucked, and so now the Himalayas suck too”.
Do you feel sad for the Himalayas? Or should you feel sad for me? Will the nation like the Himalayas more for my slur?? Will Tony Blair and his gang meet the Himalayas and fall all over it? Will the queen meet the mountain?
Oh well. I hope I am clueless. I hope I am warped. Cuz if you feel the same way I do, then we are subjected to agony in our lives that we really don’t need. And something is very, very wrong.
But well, the Himalayas are nice and so is Shilpa. I have no comment on her to make. I am just a little troubled the way we all reacted. Oh but that’s how it looks from my island. Do what you like in yours.
And the fly isn’t to blame. But hey, let’s not allow our affections towards Shilpa undermine the fly. This fly lives at Siddhivinayak. It lives everywhere. And has perched on countless people. An endless list of celebs, common everyday people like you and me, thugs, underworld people, politicians, Abhishek Bachhan, Ash, Anuradha paduval, Sachin Tendulkar, and the panwala down your road. That’s really a long list if you have any idea.
Oh what fun to buzz around and sit on the eyebrows, head, hair, nose, ears, and many exciting places on several celebs.
Ok, the fly just followed the forehead out.
Later she bought a new lamp shade. And a new bamboo floor mat to do yoga on. She sneezed twice in the last 3 days and a little speck of dust went into her left eye. I can’t wait for the papers tomorrow.
The fly. A Makki. Makki? koun si makki? kiss Makki? Oh Mika. Kiss Mika!? Oh well, thats another story altogether. Some other time.
The Fly. Sigh. Look closely - it’s really a bug.
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9 comments:
where there is shit...
and now u better get bak on dat fly, his (I presumed only a he wud choose d THE he chose) hobby, his private life, his surrogate mother...
and it wudn't take much 2 guess u read TOI. i used 2 wonder wut 'T" stands 4. Trash i am convinced. like someone said she made her millions. so wutz all d fly, oops fuss about. dat fly is really buggin me now. let me swat it.
cool one, was wondering if the flys were invented to sit on foreheads with a reason and purpose. Recent research break thro - The Japs and Germans can read mind, so think of writing a blog and it can be done, sometime in the future. So a bug to read ones mind would not be a bad idea either, most certainly not the US or Brits, they are still having tough time reading the Bush.
And one day we will soon lose the fly "So long and thanks for all the shit"
yeah, and bollywoods thinking of new plots and titles for movies -"One flew over mikas nose"; "Pretty fly for a white ghai" and if it starred khusboo/ Rambha types, "pretty fly for a wide thigh"
Srini, those flies that can tell what you think are redundant in india. These flies'll exhibit prolonged periods of idleness and silence.
Who thinks here?!?!!!
ummm.. interesting who you interpret the swat on the wall.
I was thinking beyond the language/country/the white ghai, barrier.
Was just wondering if the flies were just as smart as the dolphins and rats, who were smarter than us and if we were being subjected to more experiments, or rather being tested for our lack of intelligence.
Now that you add more complex nature to the simple mind reading fly, will need to see what best can be not done about it
The mossad, knowing this about flies has actually built an entire intelligence force comprising of about 2000 flies. the flies operate at several layers higher than a normal (or even an extra-ordinary) human intellect.but soon the flies suffered from severe lack of job satisfaction quoting "This job does not exploit even 5% of our intelligence, leading to severe frustration and disillusionment. Human minds pose us little challenge if not entirely sub-standard , and zilch scope for our own personal improvement" Those flies deployed to spy on the Bush Administration pegged it at an apalling 0.02%. Now the flies have given up and gone to the himalayas for some spiritual introspection.
Like corrupt politics, unfriendly design of mediocre products, mind-vegetating acrobats of incessant reality shows and what we are served by the print media - consumers or here the readers get what they deserve. I wonder if the solution lies in renovating the answer or rephrasing the question?
Garima, yes its both.
"The cause is the effect is the cause"
Sometimes it gets all awry when "the effect becomes the cause becomes the effect"
and its all either way just a matter of convenience because piffling journalism is easier to serve.
thank god! my big brother is more tolerant. If you dont like the print media i think you should switch to ee-news (i meant e-news, of course!)As for TOI chicks and chicken curry rule.dont object!
on a serious note, i do think racism is a problem faced by asians. the big brother program opened a can of worms....lot of nris face it i guess..
meena
e news indeed! kaal le irukra talaganiye talaikum talaile irukra talaganiye kaal kum vechu pesama thungidanum! thats the best thing to do.
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